dilemma =.=

my brain is about to burst for having so many unsolved problems...=.=

my major problem: i have been 'resting' since the end of PMR exam...
and, i have done nothing in these 4 years time.
scored only *A's in SPM where my other friends got 8A's and above...
to my mum, dad and to myself: I'm really sorry for my poor result! why on earth am i so lazy, so not determined, aimless, uncommitted, unorganized, and foolish!
4 years, long enough to start studying again, start being an organized person!!!
i really wish i can change my terrible behavior, chnage myself from top to bottom, from inside to outside, physically and mentally!
but, i know, to achieve this, i need to put a little more effort into it. haiksss
so, my main problem would be 'how to put more effort'?
......i really don't know how to work hard on something like my study.( to be exact, not only study =.=) never experienced and thus i never know the feeling of working hard.
and now that i already realised the importance of 'working hard to succeed', i shall make an attempt on it!
after all, who wanna join me to go "Milk Temple" to pray and ask for help...coz I'm really worried for my Tafe Sem3 & Sem4 final exams since i haven't started my study as i said. lol
I'm just praying that everything will be alright at last!!! AMITABHA~

my 2nd problem: I'm concerned with my dad. he needs to support his 3 daughters for overseas-education purpose next year. all at once! i wonder if he can afford us!!!
my elder sis is going to australia very soon, as well as my younger sis who is going to japan next year to experience a different lifestyle with her 3 host families for a duration of 1 year.
anddd, not to miss out me, who is going australia next year too to pursue my study!!! all these have to do with MONEY $$$ (hopefully, everything is OK!)
aikksss, what am i doing now???
i really should appreciate that i have this chance to go study in foreign country, having such a great parents who allow me to go. really thankful for it!
what i need to do now is just study, study and still...study! try to get a better result and everything will be good! mum,dad, i wont let u down!

...lastly, my biggest subject of concern: am i going to start my working life after my degree, which means in 2 years time! OH NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG! sorry, i don't feel like starting my working life in such a young age- 21!!!!! how???!!! i am really afraid of it!!!! im just too fast compared to my other Friends who will only graduate and start working in their 24/25 years old. :'( :'( :'(
my dad used to say: there's nothing such as RUGI if u step out earlier coz for whatever reason, u're still faster than others. but, I'm just not prepared for everything outside!!! sorry, i have to tell, i might continue with master or what....=.=!haiksss

hoooo...finally relaxed after blogging out all rubbish at once!!!thanks for listening (oops,readin)! AMITABHA! GOD BLESS ME =D